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These women evaluate and "test" men to find the right guy, a guy who will lead with their hopes, dreams, and goals in mind.
Beyond highlighting this double-bind for all, I will save the "what men can do" for another time.
Attachment, however, can often be more of a conscious choice.
It is possible to "decide" who to share a home with, how to divide parental duties, and pick someone particular based on safety criteria.
Lust and attraction are often more deep-seated, primal, and uncontrolled feelings.
Usually, it is impossible to "choose" to be turned on or attracted to a partner.
Many that I talk to seem to hover between what they call "nice guys" and "jerks" in their dating life.