Divorced dad kids and dating
I’ve had some real life experiences regarding this topic and I've learned somehow to navigate my way through the circumstances.
Now I have the privilege of sharing a bit of what I’ve learned on this blog. You might also know that my first marriage didn't quite work out as I'd hoped.
I recently received an email from a female reader seeking my input on a situation that she's dealing with.
She's a single woman without kids who's dating a divorced dad with a daughter.
I couldn’t allow her to feel as if a new love in my life means she’s now on the backburner, as the expression goes.
Avoid the extremes when meeting the kids: When a dad has been convinced that a new love is a “keeper”, inevitably he will introduce her to his kids. These are: trying too much to impress them; and becoming their competitors.
Remember that the man isn’t the only one affected by the divorce – the kids are too. Give him time to balance being a dad and a date: For many men, the experience of dating while being dads is very new. When I dated, that was the exception – not the rule.
By this I mean that it does not apply to those who date men who have children and essentially disregard them as they enter new relationships.
Take time to know him: Men are typically not the type to open up and share their wounds and scars.
So it’s important to take things slow and get to know the man behind the mask.
Some might feel that they’ve already won his heart so there’s no need to impress the kids. They are not to be competed with; instead, they should be embraced and honored for who they are.
This can be more harmful than I could describe here. Any other approach generally leads to an unfavorable outcome.
Most women who date a dad would like to know that their kids like them.